Embarrassed

I am often embarrassed. I have always been embarrassed. I am white and my cheeks get red when I am embarrassed. It happens even when there is really nothing to get embarrassed about. I used to be the young kid who always got embarrassed and now I’m the older person who is always embarrassed and the young kids look at me with pity and accomplish things in real life.

Sometimes being embarrassed is enjoyable if you hold on to eye contact and don’t worry about it. It can feel almost like being strong if you just let it happen and show it to anyone, even a stranger, nakedly. Imagine being completely naked in public. It’s a bit cold and people are laughing at you. You know it is embarrassing. You are embarrassed. But you know how you feel and there is no point in hiding it. So you show everyone your private parts, your tattoos if you have them (I don’t).

Some people seem to have a clear grasp on the things you are supposed to say and the things you are supposed to not mention. I don’t. That is perhaps one of the ways I have maintained a sensitivity to embarrassment well into my adulthood. Another reason for this is I occasionally feel as though I am blending in and forget that I don’t understand what people are saying and why they are saying it, what they are doing and why they are doing it, and I begin to imitate them. Then, in expressing confidence I do something embarrassing. I have boogers hanging out of my nose. I am a kindergarten baby. But there’s nothing I can do about it. At least I know how I feel!

So if you are easily embarrassed, please write me because I don’t want to feel as though I’m alone.

Comentarios

Susan Hegvold dice:

I have always been easily embarrassed and it also shows clearly on my skin. Sometimes I’m even surprised at what makes me blush. I was never quite brave enough to face it down but tried unsuccessfully, I’m sure, to hide it. It’s been a life long endeavor. Being the youngest of 8 children, I invariably embarrassed my siblings or was kicked under the dinner table for something I blurted out or would cause my fundamentalist preacher father to sermonize about; our job as his children was to avoid these lectures at any cost to our need to say what was really on our minds. Now as I approach, well let’s say it, 60, I still get embarrassed easily but I don’t seem to care as much as I once did and have the ability to face it head on a little more easily.

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